short story....did 2 miles out and back out Smiths rd and then 2 X 8 mile loops for a total of 18. I had one more loop of 8 miles to go and I was done for the virtual marathon. The offical app was around a mile out compared to my Garmin. However while the groin was fine, the legs were getting heavier and the head started to go a bit. I had resorted to walking at this stage (it had started at mile 16 when the left leg started to go numb and i needed to walk/run on it) and the thoughts of another 2 mile walk down the Railway Road did me in. I walked home and my wife suggested I simply change my clothes , eat some food and walk the remaining 6 miles. I probably should have but I had enough and pressed stop on the app. Game over, DNF. Disappointed but I was over it after a hour. My 3 year decline is complete and currently without any seeming chance of recovery.
Now a week later I am not sure. Ok perhaps I won't be getting close to PB times and perhaps even a sub 4 marathon mght be a struggle but I am know I am good enough to get over this. I suppose the failure to make the starting line of 4 marathons in 2 years (Manchester 2017, Dublin 2018, Connemara 2019 and Dublin 2019) all have their own reasons. The first two were releated to burnout plain and simple and what was in mental health terms a difficult time for me. Connemara I didn't have the courage to give it a shot and run badly (I suspect I may have been out for around 4hr30mins) and Dublin 2019 is my bigest regret where I alowed myself to be talked out of it on.. I did run a solo marathon in Jan 2020 and did finish the Donadea 50km where many others dropped out (in a poor time though). The virtual marathon DNF was down to poor conditioning and a preoccupation and worry with the groin and hamstring issue. I should have walked it out but I suspect with the groin and hamstring being quite sore this week maybe that would have been foolish.
Therefore in conclusion my biggest enemy the last two years has been myself and my mental state. I always prided myself on being strong in that area but it's taken a battering these 2 years. I am talking myself out of races and challenges before anyone else does. I do accept that I might be a bit slower and not as able to churn out 60 mile a weeks as before and run those 7 mile tempos at my old pace but let's put that in the past and define new goals for myself.
In the COVID world marathons and races might be on halt but that doesn't mean I can't create new areas to explore.
I do need from a athletic point of view to work on a few things - namely my conditioning. I have lost something there in a aerobic sense so it's something worth investigating. I also need more variety in my running
So yeah I flunked a virtual marathon lets move on...
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