not this time but always next time

 short story....did 2 miles out and back out Smiths rd and then 2 X 8 mile loops for a total of 18. I had one more loop of 8 miles to go and I was done for the virtual marathon. The offical  app was around a mile out compared to my Garmin. However while the groin was fine, the legs were getting heavier and the head started to go a bit. I had resorted to walking at this stage (it had started at mile 16 when the left leg started to go numb and i needed to walk/run on it) and the thoughts of another 2 mile walk down the Railway Road did me in. I walked home and my wife suggested I simply change my clothes , eat some food and walk the remaining 6 miles. I probably should have but I had enough and pressed stop on the app. Game over, DNF. Disappointed but I was over it after a hour.  My 3 year decline is complete and currently without any seeming chance of recovery. 

Now a week later I am not sure. Ok perhaps I won't be getting close to PB times and perhaps even a sub 4 marathon mght be a struggle but I am know I am good enough to get over this. I suppose the failure to make the starting line of 4 marathons in 2 years (Manchester 2017, Dublin 2018, Connemara 2019 and Dublin 2019) all have their own reasons. The first two were releated to burnout plain and simple and what was in mental health terms a difficult time for me. Connemara I didn't have the courage to give it a shot and run badly (I suspect I may have been out for around 4hr30mins) and Dublin 2019 is my bigest regret where I alowed myself to be talked out of it on.. I did run a solo marathon in Jan 2020 and did finish the Donadea 50km where many others dropped out (in a poor time though). The virtual marathon DNF was down to poor conditioning and a preoccupation and worry with the groin and hamstring issue. I should have walked it out but I suspect with the groin and hamstring being quite sore this week maybe that would have been foolish.

Therefore in conclusion my biggest enemy the last two years has been myself and my mental state. I always prided myself on being strong in that area but it's taken a battering these 2 years. I am talking myself out of races and challenges before anyone else does. I do accept that I might be a bit slower and not as able to churn out 60 mile a weeks as before and run those 7 mile tempos at my old pace but let's put that in the past and define new goals for myself. 

In the COVID world marathons and races might be on halt but that doesn't mean I can't create new areas to explore. 

I do need from a athletic point of view to work on a few things - namely my conditioning. I have lost something there in a aerobic sense so it's something worth investigating. I also need more variety in my running

So yeah I flunked a virtual marathon lets move on...

groin, groans and grimace

 The groin was giving me gip for the last couple of weeks. I spent a lot of the last couple of weeks icing, streching and trying to rest. That said the pain which started as itch, evolved in a nagging pain and escalated into a sharp pain to the point that even walking into work (15 minutes from where I parked the car) was becoming a problem. I popped into a local physio in Cork at lunchtime and he said I was close to tearing it and under no cirumstances not to run "as something as stupid as a virtual marathon". So accordingly I had pretty much ruled out the virtual marathon by last week. However this week I felt a gradual improvement and noticed the walk into work was becoming less of a problem and the awkwardness from getting up from the workdesk wasn't too bad. This encouraged me to go for a 6 mile jog on Wednesday and I felt fine afterwards. A couple of days afterwards the leg started to get sore again as did the back of my hamstrings. Cue another rest day this Saturday. Sunday (today) I felt a lot better again  and jogged 2 X 7.5 miles around town (8.57 pace). I felt good running around town and in fact found the whole running quite mediatative - very zen. I felt 15 miles was plenty as with a week to go running more mileage would make little difference.

Anyway that's the story. I still hope to get the virtual marathon done next week but that depends on how I feel on the day. In terms of upcoming COVID restrictions it will probably have to be a solo effort (I hope  though I can run with a few friends) and in terms of time I have no expectations of anything under 4 hours. I just want to get to the (imagined start line) and get in finished without undue pressure. We are a nation and a world under pressure so I plan this to be my own little bolthole from a increasingly sad and difficult situation.

now comes the crash and a kick in the groin

 ....as I feared the crash....after the 20 miler a few weeks ago I was doing pretty well running around 20 miles during the week and a easy 10 miler on the Sunday around Charleville. During the week just gone I was doing ok too, running 22 miles over 4 sessions but when it came to the planned 22 miler on Sunday I had to turn back after 15 minutes. Two problems - one was a groin strain which I had being trying to manage for a few weeks but which was very sore by the end of the week (I was running with a strap around the leg). Walking more than 20 minutes is now becoming a issue. The other problem is that I am drained, flat out tired but I suspect if the groin pull wasn't a issue I would be ok. I am stretching and icing the affected area 2/3 times a day but it isn't getting quicker quickly. I haven't run since last Saturday

Mallow AC in light of the COVID level 3 restrictions have (wisely) decided to postpone their planned marathon long run around Ballyhass lakes. It means essentially I have two options (if I run) run locally around Charleville by myself and cover the 26.2 miles or simply just put the whole thing to one side and just cover the distance in my own time before Christmas. It means I may miss out on the virtual marathon weekend but I'm not really missing out on a whole lot in real terms bar a medal and a beanie hat. I already ran a solo marathon in February and I have added that as a marathon to my sidebar. The cancellation of the Mallow Ac event has taken the buzz out of the whole thing, now I wonder is it better to simply keep working on the groin and look to the future. It doesn't appear that we will be seeing any races in the next 12 months.